How Harry dismantled the royal smokescreen during Australian tour

“Never complain, never explain”. It’s one of the most famous public relations strategies employed by the Royal Family, made famous by the late Queen Elizabeth II.

Her grandson Harry, who has taken part in whirlwind trip to Australia alongside his wife Meghan, has spent the last four days challenging this status quo.

This week, the Duke of Sussex gave Australians a peek behind the curtain of his now-private life, revealing some deeply personal insights into the relationship with his father, and how the death of Princess Diana affected his view of the Royal Family.

From the outside, it appeared like any other quasi-royal tour – the couple walking hand-in-hand, donning smiles and waving to the cameras as they were ushered through the Royal Children’s Hospital, Swinburne University of Technology and completing cultural walks along the Yarra river (Birrarung).

He is not the first of the Royal Family to discuss the challenges of mental health in the spotlight – his brother William recently revealed his “deteriorating” mental health while working with Air Ambulance.

Generally speaking though, members of The Firm tend to keep mum about the impact of their roles in the public eye, instead channelling their energy into their official duties.

It seems Harry, who alongside Meghan stepped down from official royal duties and reneged their Royal Highness statuses in 2020, is dismantling his family’s once shatter-proof public relations strategy.

He isn’t just ridding himself of the HRH title, he’s peeling away the stoic state of mind his grandmother cemented decades earlier.

He can now speak frankly about his experience as a working Royal, the toll it had on his life, and why there is no weakness in vulnerability.

Next year marks 30 years since the death of his mother, the iconic Diana, who was killed in a horrific car crash in Paris in 1997.

Speaking at the InterEdge Summit in Melbourne on Thursday, Harry revealed her sudden death shortly before his 13th birthday made him reconsider his role in the Royal Family.

“I don’t want this job. I don’t want this role – wherever this is headed, I don’t like it,” he said in Melbourne.

“It killed my mum and I was very much against it, and I stuck my head in the sand for years and years.”

Despite his privileged position, both as a public figure and private citizen, he confessed there were times where he felt “powerless” and “lost”, with no other choice but to “show up and pretend everything is OK”.

This was not the first time the duke showed his vulnerable side during the short visit.

At a panel hosted by men’s mental health organisation Movember on Wednesday, Harry explained he was in therapy before his two children, Archie, 6, and Lilibet, 4, were born.

He said the sessions offered him the chance to “cleanse (himself) of the past”.

“Certainly from a therapy standpoint, you want to be the best version of yourself for your kids,” he said.

“And I knew that I had stuff from the past that I needed to deal with, and therefore prepare myself to basically cleanse myself of the past.”

The vulnerability continued to flow throughout the trip, with Harry confessing there were moments he found himself “in the foetal position on the kitchen floor” as feelings of grief, despair and uncertainty washed over him.

Speaking of fatherhood, he also made rare revelations about his own father, King Charles III.

On Wednesday, Harry said there were fundamental changes in the way people approaching parenting, saying kids should be an “upgrade” of their parents.

“Not to say I was an upgrade of my dad or that my kids are an upgrade of me,” he said.

He praised the conversations parents are now having with their children, which “never existed” with his own parents four decades ago.

“That’s just one example of conversations that are now happening in households between kids and parents that never existed between me and my parents,” he said.

There’s no room for judgement though, he stressed.

“There’s no judgement, there’s no blame, there’s no pointing the finger,” he said.

“The reality is that – however you are parenting – that is a personal experience to you, you are going to want to improve on that.”

The Royal strategy of “never complain, never explain” fails to land when it comes to fatherhood, he said.

“For me, one of the biggest shifts came when I realised that asking for help isn’t a weakness,” he told the audience.

“It’s very much a form of strength.”