Afterwards author Tori Bowman Johnson offers support for new mums with The First Word video series

As every new mother comes to learn, caring for a baby is one thing, but caring for one’s self is another thing entirely. Not only are you dealing with the rollercoaster that is parenthood, you’re also navigating the most significant physical and emotional challenges you’re ever likely to experience. Along with indescribable highs, it can be a time of crushing lows — of sleepless nights, feeding struggles, a sudden and complete loss of independence, confusion, loneliness, anxiety and milk-stained everything. And Tori Bowman Johnson wants you to know it’s all perfectly normal. The Shenton Park mother-of-two is the author of Afterwards, which became something of a bible for new parents after she self-published it in 2021. Partially based on the endless notes Johnson found herself taking after the birth of her first child, Hamish, it’s a frank, informative guidebook to navigating the “fourth trimester”. A former modelling and talent agent, project manager and creative agency founder, Johnson says she never anticipated the impact the book would have on other mums. “What I’m learning quickly is that women and mums just want to hear the truth, and true stories, rather than facts and figures and statistics,” she says. “It’s nice when they can relate to people and vulnerability and other people’s, not only their struggles, but just their experiences along the way. So it’s definitely exceeded my expectations in a really great way.” Now, Johnson is continuing her mission to shine a light on the nitty gritty of motherhood, for better or worse, with a new project, The First Word. Launched last month, the video series is designed as a modern-day mothers’ group — a virtual catch-up where no topic is off limits, from mental health and careers to sex and fertility. Johnson says she conceived the idea as a means of bringing honest, raw, insightful conversations into women’s homes, in a bid to help them realise they’re not alone in their parenting struggles, triumphs and everything in between. After pitching the concept to several TV networks — who all told her “the audience is just too niche” — Johnson decided to go ahead and create a monthly video series. “We all go to mothers’ groups . . . and I was just curious as to why something like that, it wasn’t reflected on mainstream TV,” she explains. “In the mornings, when mums are at home and the babies are napping and you’re folding washing and it’s not necessarily an inspiring time of day, or it’s not an inspiring time of life . . . I just thought, well, it’d be so great if in those moments, which tend to bring on moments of doubt or drops in self-worth, as you’re watching the world evolve and you are stuck inside, I thought it would be really nice if on TV there would be a show where you could just turn it on and see other mums just like you, and hear their stories and feel and resonate with them, but would feel more supported and feel seen and heard and lighten your day a little bit,” she says. The three faces of The First Word are Dakota Whitehand, Tash Crompton and Bridgette Gale. All are Perth mums and businesswomen that Johnson recruited, who share a casual 45-minute chat on the various topics that can arise in the life of parents. “They’re very brave in what they put out there,” Johnson says. “They’ve all got different personalities. I think what they all share is they’re extremely loyal, dedicated, driven, smart, brave women.” There are currently two episodes available and Johnson says it’s her hope that as the series unfolds, it will eventually reach parents all over Australia. “Because at the end of the day, motherhood, despite where you’re at with it, it’s really tough,” she says. “And just sometimes to relate just makes it so much more enjoyable.” Looking back at her own experiences with welcoming and then raising Hamish, now three, and second son George, nine months, Johnson says the overarching takeaway is that there is not enough attention or resources devoted to supporting new parents. “I wouldn’t call either of my experiences difficult. I was really lucky. I had great pregnancies, great births, with a few complications, but great births and then a lot of support as I brought the babies home,” she says. “I guess the missing spots that I found were, I had so much information about the newborn and how to raise the newborn and deal with different things, but I felt there wasn’t enough information about how to pander to your own body’s needs. You have a baby and you come home and you’re a different person, physically, and you’re a very different person mentally, and that changes overnight. And I felt as though I was very overwhelmed by it, and very unprepared. “So I guess my experience was that I felt like every new mum just needed another new mum sitting by their side, just in a very layman’s terms, friendly kind of way, just saying, ‘Bleeding is normal. The engorgement is normal. The baby blues is normal. All these taboo things that happen downstairs, it’s all normal.’ “It’s a very delicate time in a woman’s life and I think too many women just get up and get on with it and don’t really tend to their bodies like they should, like they deserve to.” As part of this mission, she is also gearing up to release a follow-up to Afterwards, titled Before. Johnson says the book takes a similar “laymen’s terms” tone to Afterwards, but focuses on pregnancy rather than the postpartum phase. “To be honest, I didn’t read a whole lot of pregnancy books when I was pregnant,” she says. “But what I did do was, again, I started taking notes of my experiences and I really, really am drawn to the more taboo aspects. And, of course, when you’re pregnant, it is a wild time. Your body’s changing, your hormones are changing, you’ve got a lot of things going on. It’s very confusing, it’s very overwhelming and it can be quite icky because you lose the sense of control of your body and you’re watching it physically change. “And I was just curious as to not only understand it, but make sure that when something happens that you deem to be embarrassing or icky or gross or something like that, that it’s certainly not. Your body is growing a human. These wild and wonderful things are going to happen.” Topics covered include nutrition, gestational diabetes, exercise, sex during pregnancy, birth and planning for the postpartum period. “I guess the book is to offer women that support and friendship . . . and just putting it all out there and women can take what they need on any given day and just find a little bit of solace in the fact that those icky parts of pregnancy are shared with all women,” Johnson says. “It’s not just them.” One area that is of key focus in the book is perinatal mental health, with a dedicated chapter that includes advice on things like depression, anxiety, body image, self doubt and how to seek help if you’re struggling, “I’m really proud of that particular chapter because I think pregnant women and mums, they’re so good at getting up and getting on with it and they just sweep a lot of it under the carpet, give themselves to other people and other purposes,” Johnson says. “And they really just need to, at the end of the day, give themselves a little bit more time and empathy to make sure that the road ahead is a smoother one. And if things aren’t right, and if you’re not feeling right, then you absolutely deserve to take time out and to go and speak to someone or take the time to yourself. It’s certainly not a time to just get up and get on with it. You really do need to listen to your body.” Self-care essentials for mums Tori Bowman Johnson shares her top five helpful things to consider investing in if you’re preparing to welcome a new baby The Baby Days meal delivery service In those early days when you’re feeding, sleep deprived and in need of some warming comfort, meal deliveries are wonderful. Perth-based The Baby Days is made for mums, by a wonderful mum, Alex. She has hit the spot with her menu options. A 12-week visit to Floralia Wellness (or your GP) to get your hormones checked After my experience with severe hypothyroidism, which hit around the four-month postpartum mark, I can’t encourage women more to get their baseline hormones checked at the 12-week mark post-birth and then again around six months. Just to ensure you’re within range. The Sleep Escape White Noise Machine I am addicted to white noise. I play it in each of the boys’ rooms when they sleep and in my own. Francesca Kendall, a local sleep consultant and founder of The Sleep Escape, launched her own white noise machine and they’re perfect in terms of size, function, volume, sound options and battery life, and they have a night light. Tick, tick, tick! I take them everywhere. Portier’s Limitless baby carrier To get out of the house and walk in the fresh air with your baby is so nice. Prams are great but I’ve always found carriers are the perfect nook for bub to clock some cosy zzz’s — right next to mum’s soothing heartbeat. I’ve just discovered Australian brand Portier’s Limitless baby carrier in Sage Leopard. Grace Farm cabernet sauvignon I’m not a heavy drinker by any means, but come 5pm when the waves of overwhelm and overstimulation hit, a glass of wine helps me to wind down and feel calm. Wilyabrup winery Grace Farm is a family favourite. Support resources for new parents and carers