Home and Away: Nikau trades the bait shop for the glamorous world of modelling and ANOTHER wedding

Stephanie McKennaThe West Australian
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Camera IconDon’t worry Nik, no one knows what to do with their hands. Credit: Jeremy Greive

Nikau is hailed the "next big thing". It smells a bit fishy, and it’s not his bait shop clothes.

For anyone who has managed to avoid the constant barrage of Home and Away ads teasing the new storyline, Bella won a photography competition with a snap of Nikau and now he’s been approached by a top modelling agent.

He thinks it’s a big of a laugh and goes along to meet "big city agent" Sienna Blake at Salt, who really turns it on for the occasion.

It’s the standard new character intro for this show, they all start out as baddies looking for trouble.

Even Justin was a bad boy when he first arrived and look at him taking up valuable oxygen now.

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"I’m not going to miss out on the next big thing," Sienna says.

Camera IconEyeing off Nik. Credit: Jeremy Greive

Maybe it’s just Ari and Mia’s seriously crass lines but it sounds like Sienna wants to make Nikau her toy boy.

Sienna sweetens the deal by offering an internship for an up-and-coming photographer aka Bella who is a bit slow picking up on the hint.

Bella wants to look "serious and professional" for the meeting, so she dresses like Paddington bear. Before I get slammed for not being a feminist, this is a show so it’s the wardrobe department’s fault.

Camera IconPaddington. Credit: Jeremy Greive

The producers really set the "big city" scene for us. The receptionist is something out of The Devil Wears Prada and some girl is bawling her eyes out.

Nikau brings is girlfriend along to the meeting. But Bella is attracted by the shiny things and meets Allegra the model and Emmett the "amazing" photographer who wears a backwards cap and says "mate" which means he’s cool and down to earth.

Camera IconThe cool one. Credit: Jeremy Greive

Nikau mostly furrows his brow until he gives up and declares "this is stupid, I’m not doing this anymore".

But it’s just a tease and he returns, takes "amazing" photos and later that night is sent a very pricey bottle of champers to celebrate booking his first job.

The whole gang – Nik, Bella, Ryder and Chloe are there and in other news Ryder and Chloe have become "we" people. You know, the kind who act as one unit.

Anyway, here’s my predictions: Sienna is going to lure Nikau into the modelling industry and immature Bella won’t be able to handle it.

In other news, the wedding that was promised by the producers at the season return might just happen.

I can’t believe I’ve been watching religiously – well I get paid – for a whole year and this will be my first Home and Away wedding.

After Budget McDreamy’s near death – is it near death if you were technically dead? – experience, he’s keen to grab life by the balls.

"I don’t want to wait anymore," Christian says to Tori.

"Let’s get on with it." It’s just what a gal wants to hear about such a momentous occasion. Although, nuptials are just standard practise around Summer Bay.

It’s going to be in a month at Brodie’s winery – apparently a sibling of Tori and Justin that I haven’t heard of which beckons the question, why isn’t the show about this guy with a winery?

Also this is news to me, but in a past life Roo was a wedding planner so she’s on board too.

As far as the show is concerned the wedding is sorted apart from the bridal party which I shall get to later, and Tori and Jasmine are also friends again.

So it’s a lovely brisk morning in the Bay and Budget McDreamy joins Tori for a spot of yoga.

Camera IconFinding his Zen. Credit: Channel 7

Sadly Budget McDreamy doesn’t find his Zen. In fact it has the opposite effect and he wants to know all the details about the day Lewis killed him.

The producers opt for the the Jas cam technique – kind of an unstable fish-eye type thing used when a character is not themselves - to amplify the stress of the conversation.

Camera IconNot again. Credit: Channel 7

"I remember it all," Christian mutters.

"During the yoga class it all came back to me."

But even modern medicine and the title of best neurosurgeon in the world (probably) can’t explain Christian’s out of body experience.

The intense moment is interrupted by Justin and is it even necessary for him to still be it in?

He mopes around as usual then has the audacity to accuse Leah of "throwing me under the bus" because she told his doctor he’s been self-medicating.

That kind of gets pushed aside for another time because WEDDING.

Tori asks Leah to be her maid of honour which causes Budget McDreamy to break down in tears because he’s "alive".

Meanwhile Jasmine still can’t "catch a break" – her words not mine for once.

Budget McDreamy confides in Jas about seeing the light which has Jas thinking about what’s on the cards for her, literally because Maz keeps her tarot cards in her handbag.

Camera IconMy sincerest apologies to Sam Frost for this unflattering photo but it’s the only one I took. Credit: Channel 7

What can’t that woman do. She can walk on the beach in Louboutin’s and as of Tuesday, she’s very effective with a whistle.

Camera IconHail Maz. Credit: Channel 7

Jas chickens out of the reading because she already knowns that her character gets the most tragic storylines.

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